Sitting in the airport and as usual, it’s a great time and opportunity to think, reflect and write. I’m flying to Nice, but have to fly via Paris, so I’m spending more or less all day today in the air and on the airport. It’s fine, but to be honest, I find airports a bit melancholic and sad (I’m also awaiting my period ;)). People come and go, and everyone keeps staring at their phones. As do I. It’s lonely to travel alone, especially on a day like today when I’m traveling with mixed emotions.
I’m overwhelmed with excitement about getting this opportunity to take part of the Cannes film festival, but I feel really sad about leaving the kids- again. They are reacting to me being away, and I feel like I’ve been telling them that: “mommy will be back very soon“ too much and for too long now. My son wants to be held all the time and at night, he wants to be as close to me as possible and keeps waking up just to make sure I’m still there. On the contrary, I always feel a bit guilty when I travel/work/study or do anything that requires me being away from them, so I’m sure it’s also healthy for all of us to practice separating and reuniting. It’s just that my heart is always with them, so whatever I do, and wherever I go, I can’t fully enjoy it without having my batteries fully charged with all the little and big things that makes my life feel meaningful. And, although I feel meaningful and fulfilled when I get to do what I love and within my work, my family is what makes me feel grounded.
This is the very last work trip I have booked for this Spring, so by telling you, black on white that I will slow down, makes it more of a real promise to myself. And, until then, I will just have to try to be present and enjoy this one of a lifetime and extremely privileged opportunity I have to not only get to work with what I love, but also get these unique experiences.
I know I’ve been ranting about the same subject for some time already, but since I know you appreciate real dairy-like content, I can’t keep myself from sharing that this is one of the things I struggle with all the time. Maybe there are other parents who struggle with the same kind of thoughts?
dress elseadeliadubai// shoes zara// bag gauhar// sunglasses ray ban// ring thomas sabo
Pictures by Juuli Rönkä