You are good enough and you deserve just as much as everyone else does. Don’t carry so many secrets alone. Talk and most importantly- speak up! However, trust me, you will learn along the way to respect yourself and set your own standards and limits. You will also change a lot, although you’ve already seen the world, been on your own and experienced more than most of your friends.
Your bad patterns will end by accident. You can’t take credit for that! It’s out of your control. This is your changing point when you finally start accepting happiness. You will even make happiness, positivity and goodness your religion and trademark! It was a smart choice you made back then. Thank you.
I have no advice to give you, because every phase you go through will be needed to get right here, but you aren’t done and you never will be. I just hope that you would dare to trust that no asset is better or stronger than the other. It’s what you do with it. You just have to open up your eyes for your own strengths and recognize your weaknesses. Recognition is enough, because you can work on every weakness you have and develop. All you need is the will and you have lots of that even though you think you’re weak.
Bodily “flaws” however, don’t put any energy into those. They will change form, but they will follow you wherever you go year after year. So, don’t give them any attention, but let them live. They make you much more lovable.
And if I may say, some things just don’t flatter you. Don’t judge others, quiet yourself whenever you don’t have something good to say and don’t try to fit in if you have a feeling you don’t.
Eventually, when you finally realize what you want, you will realize you got everything you ever wanted.