Greeting from my own home! Feels amazing to be back. 6 kids and two eager puppies was more than a handful to say the least, and oh how I’ve missed my own bed! It’s the best place in the world, although I couldn’t sleep tonight either.
Yesterday, I invited friends over. I cooked for everyone and the kids had a blast all day! As I already told you, we took some of the kids toys up to the attic for storage, and I have to tell you it has payed off. The kids come up with more innovative ways to play with each other and that makes me really happy. Playing is extremely important and developing for children. What could ever be more important than to learn how to interact with others?!
In case you are wondering why I constantly surround myself with people, I want to be honest with you since openness is the most comforting and biggest relief I know- personally. During this holiday the terrible news of the terrible, terrible thing that happened on Christmas eve here in Helsinki reached me. That’s when the feeling of unbearable anxiety took over. I’ve always been sensitive and, on the verge to overly empathic (if there is such thing) but these news got a bit too much for me to handle. I want to be honest about my anxiety, since I know I’m not alone feeling this way. Anxiety to me, is a feeling of pressure in my chest, numbness and trying to escape my own head. I can’t sleep, and I can’t engage emotionally in my everyday life and not a single minute pass by without my thoughts wondering into all the things I so hardly try to keep myself from thinking. It’s “worry” times a hundred.
My mum is the best when it comes to understanding and calming my anxiety. She told me my painful thoughts and feelings will stay, but eventually time will wrap them up in a layer of cotton that will protect me from those painful feelings and make them a bit blurrier and a bit softer. I am so thankful for everyone I have around me to talk to, who offers their support in one way or another. It means the world.
knit Secondfemale// pictures by Juuli Rönkä